My Lockdown Confession- How hope keeps me going !

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It’s 3.36 am, and I have suddenly woken up to find out whether its morning already ? The sun has come out or not or if my sub-conscious mind has just made me feel as if it was day 22 – End of lockdown period and that every thing has become normal again. 

(Hoping)

But, after tossing and turning on my bed and then blinking my eyes in dark for 15 secs, I found out, NO, it isn’t ! It’s pitch dark outside , foxes are still having a unceremonious howl outside and it’s just Day 16 of the lockdown period that I am at , that we all are at !! Next, I do what I don’t want to do at least now! Switch on my mobile data and start scrolling my Facebook feeds and check Instagram only to find out that, its just few hours back that I was mindlessly toggling n scrolling trolls on three of my main social media account (Facebook, Instagram or Twitter ).

People who know me even a little bit, are well aware that it’s not normal that I being up at this ungodly hours just to start penning down of what I call this as “Lockdown Confessions”. But, this time I am compelled to , may be at the fag end of the quarantine period or may be nearing to the end of phase 1 of Quarantine , who knows!!

 

(Sign of Hope)

When the state announced first five days of lock down, I had lots of cooked up plans in my mind to execute and do all that. Which primarily included to slow down and take time off just to chill and finally to marry my own company. Those 24 hours which were given to us, the law abiding citizens, who were going under the arrest of Covid 19 pandemic warrant, for something longer like 21 days was totally uncalled for. And, all I did was to think not to fetch my parents to my place of stay because A. As advised by nation, it wasn’t wise enough to put elderly at risk and B. these golden time of I, Me and Myself will never come back again where I do not have to go through the vicious cycle of mundane office, travel to work, come home do chores , crib for some me time and conspire against my own will, i.e to do the same thing next day as well..

Aah, well its tuesday morning now, of the last week of lockdown period, probably hoping that by next week this time I shall wake up again only to be excited to step out to my usual life routine which I had always cribbed about. What an Irony !

YES, I am now craving for all those times , for which I may again start complaining about –“The Usual” . I guess this is one or probably will be the only phase of my life, where I have stepped back, reiterated , calibrated myself to think how privilege I am.

Even though this sounds like my crib diary totally but, I guess we all would agree ( at-least for those , who are taking the time out to read this) that we have been given a golden opportunity to bring out that diamonds out of our uncut unpolished soul. They say that a diamond becomes such precious under extreme harsh conditions because it is tried and tested under extreme pressure. Well, let just say we have been put to test , a MENTAL test . These are difficult times I believe for many , for several in a way because we are facing a change, a major change in our lifestyle , in our surrounding and in our habits.

Often I hear about the social media toxicity, which creates a noticeable difference and creates rifts between actual human connections and that it leads to Social Isolation. But now this seems to be the new normal , mostly I am clinged on to digital/virtual world for my daily dose of information , entertainment and most importantly only source of socialising . 

Well, on the hindsight, I also keep hearing news about how nature is reclaiming its place into the vast entity of planet earth . Slowly we are observing a decrease in pollution , sky is clearer , birds are chirping and the news of Yamuna river been clearer than ever before.

Big Wow!!

So basically while being caged or grounded for not being able to contribute to the ecological catastrophe for sometime at-least. We in a way are doing a favour to planet earth..

Think Happy!!

So, What are the coping mechanism then ?

I had chosen to stay all by my own for years now for the choice of dire need of space  or sometimes a liberating freedom to live on my own terms. Whatever that be , I chose to be so …

Since, the time I have happily embraced this way of life till 23rd march, I guess I was like a freedom personified person for many of my friends, peers or may be an example that how a woman can lead a well balanced life, living on her own terms and preferably alone.

Yes, I was till the time I tried my hands on everything like cooking, reading , writing, finishing pending work at ease, drawing, sometimes dancing (oh yes I love dancing too) ,and yes also yoga.  But, then what about those pockets of moments, when you feel the need to have a human connect, may be just a communication at times or the real time problem? There seemed to be none!! Oh wait, video calls, phone calls ,series of whatsApp lame jokes , fake forwards did help at this time but all seemed to end on one topic – How social distancing is affecting each of our lives?

On Social Distancing 

More than the virus causing concerns, its the emotional rollercoaster which I guess every mind is facing. With rapidly growing number of positive cases , there is a fear that this social isolation may continue and everyone including me is toiling on the idea of what are the best coping mechanism. With global pandemic warrant which has been issued around the globe, the fear and anxiety is like that keyword phrase in every communication. Social media is filled with explicit number of good bad demotivating or sometimes times may be hope-filled news .

Few jokes within my circle, which are often heard between couples fighting- “Either we will make it or break it at the end of this quarantine period”. But, let us look at ourselves , I see a magnanimity of creative and unique ideas which are pouring in from all corners of the world. Its commendable that people have identified their talents and creative side with the aforementioned lockdown imposed .

But, I take this opportunity to identify those, who may think they are unable to cope up with this competition . Those who are still bearing the brunt of their own inertia to identify any such capabilities in themselves. My word out there would be, don’t pressurise too much on thinking about what you gotta do? I think even finding a simplest reason to stay happy and sane in your own way is one remarkable way of dealing such difficult times.

 

And, amidst all this we are surviving  & struggling with every odds each day keeping up the mental balance by indulging ourselves in household chores or creativity, apart from additional work from home. But, holding on to any particular coping strategy such as exploring our creative skills or deepening our social connect with close ones , we latch on to the feeling of HOPE. That good days will come and soon things would be normal.

I read Nigerian poet Ben Okri who quoted that –

“You can’t remake the world

Without remaking yourself.

Each new era begins within.

It is an inward event,

With unsuspected possibilities

For inner liberation.”

Hence, My idea is to rediscover myself. To step back- pause, rewind, recollect all that I have missed out, over past several years and look out for a reason that what gives me a sense of fulfilment. Perhaps, it could be as simple as picking up the phone and lend your ears or may be just to appreciate each other . For me, hope seems to be the ray of life that everyone needs to embrace. For it is the ultimate art of loving the desire for positivity . And, the act itself is very positive and yields a likely outcome always.

Hope, in this sense, is a decision. It is the most important decision we can make. Hope changes everything, starting with our lives. Hope is the force that enables us to take action to make our dreams come true. It has the power to change winter into summer, barrenness to creativity, agony to joy. As long as we have hope, there is nothing we cannot achieve. When we possess the treasure of hope, we can draw forth our inner potential and strength.

The Outcome and My Realisation

(I do not know when but I surely know what !! )

–A resilient us shall be the outcome .

-Learn how to adapt to changes .

-To rediscover yourself , transform your inner being .

-To keep an open mind because only we humans have the ability to run through curiosity gauging the future.

And lastly I would quote these lines which has been etched in my mind through all the thick and thins of my life- When we change our inner determination, everything begins to move in a new direction. The moment we make a powerful resolve, every nerve and fibre of our being will immediately orient itself towards the fulfilment of this goal or desire. And hence a learning that this is indeed a realisation that we are the best saviour to ourselves and we would do anything to come through any difficult situation.

I do not say that I have mastered the way of life that has been entrusted upon us. But, all I can say that we are all in this together hence let us try to be the best version of ourselves, so that these days will again be the sweet memories to cherish in our lifetime.

 

I would be happy to get your lovely opinion about how you are making the best time out of these days ? Please free to DM me apart from this . And, I shall be happy to connect . And if you like to read my other articles , following links are for your happy read and future plans :

Europe Travel Guide 

Thailand Travel Itinerary

You can also connect with me on Instagram 

 

Stay Safe and Stay Sane!!